Romeo's Tune (1990) Read online

  ‘Fine,’ I said. ‘All running well, I’m spoilt for choice these days.’

  ‘I always knew you’d make it to be a three-car family, Nick,’ said Charlie sarcastically. ‘Expect to hear from Ted today. And come up for a drink soon, perhaps I can sell you something else.’

  ‘OK Chas,’ I said. We exchanged farewells and both hung up. I went back to my novel.

  The call from Ted Dallas came about an hour later. I was right there with good old Trav on his houseboat moored on the Florida Keys. Plenty of sun, sea and sand. And I was ready to shuck the bikini bottom off any bronzed beach bunny who might happen along when the sound of the telephone bought me back to reality. The rain outside had let up slightly, but the wind was still howling around the building. At least, I thought as I reached for the receiver, I had a date that night. It was with a pork butcher’s daughter from Balham named Edith House. The only trouble was she always made me think of jokes about meat. Still, she was a nice enough girl, if only she’d learn to stop borrowing my boxer shorts. I caught the phone on the third ring. ‘Hello,’ I said, ‘Nick Sharman speaking.’

  ‘Oh, hi Nick,’ said a man’s voice I didn’t recognise. ‘Charlie told me you’d be expecting my call.’

  ‘Mister Dallas?’ ‘Just call me Ted,’ said the voice jovially. He sounded like a DJ on local radio.

  Or J.R., I thought.

  ‘Or some people call me J.R,’ he continued.

  Christ, I knew it.

  ‘Ted’ll do,’ I said. ‘Charlie tells me you’re having some trouble with a bad debt.’

  ‘That’s correct,’ the voice went on. ‘He said you were good. Machine-Gun Sharman, he called you.’

  ‘Let’s not go into all that,’ I interrupted. ‘I’ll need some details and paperwork. Can we meet?’

  ‘Sure, Nick. I’m free right now – why don’t I call by?’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Listen,’ said Ted Dallas. ‘I’m in Putney. I’ll get on to the South Circular and I’ll be with you in an hour or so. Is that OK?’ The more we talked the further his accent moved into the mid-Atlantic.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’ll be here all day.’

  ‘Perhaps we could lunch?’

  ‘Perhaps we could.’

  ‘Great. I’ll see you soon.’

  ‘Great,’ I replied.

  ‘Bye now,’ he said and hung up.

  ‘Have a nice day,’ I said to the dialling tone.

  By that time I was ready for a drink. I slid into my double-breasted Crombie overcoat and battled the wind across the road to my local pub. I sat amongst the early lunch-time drinkers and ordered a brandy. No one spoke to me. It wasn’t the friendliest of boozers, but then I wasn’t the friendliest of people.

  I sipped at the liquid and checked out the bar in the mirror behind the optics. Everything was quiet. Just the way I liked it. I’d had enough excitement to last one lifetime. I drained my glass, then ordered another drink. I could feel the liquor warming my insides. It was an illusion. The second glass went the way of the first. I ordered a third and paid with a ten pound note. Big spender.

  After I’d finished the third drink, I went back to my office. Cat cried for food and I fed him. As I knelt and pushed meat from a tin on to his plate a huge sadness engulfed me like a black tide. I stroked Cat’s back as he bolted his meal. He ignored me except for one, quick sideways glance. ‘Son of a bitch,’ I whispered.

  I hung up my coat and sat behind my desk again. I looked at the brightly coloured cover of the paperback I’d been reading. I flipped it into my desk drawer and slammed it shut. ‘Bullshit.’ I said to no one. Cat meowed his agreement.

  Ted Dallas arrived at one o’clock precisely. A huge Cadillac pulled into the cul-de-sac where my office was situated. I stood at my window and admired the beast. Its bright-red paintwork shone through the raindrops and the chrome gleamed like silver in the harsh winter light. A fat man exited from the driver’s side and looked around. He saw me standing at the office window and waved hesitantly. I lifted my hand in salute and he walked across the street towards me. I opened the office door for Ted Dallas.

  He was effusive in his greeting. He pumped my hand for about thirty seconds too long, and told me how pleased he was to meet me and how he’d read about me in the newspapers. I shrugged off the crap and sat him down in a hard chair. If I wanted to remember, I just needed to close my eyes and sleep. The images of the past were clear enough without reminders. I sat down opposite him with my desk between us.

  ‘Mister Dallas . . . Ted,’ I said as he flapped his hands at me in mock indignation at my formality. ‘Let’s get down to business. Have you got all the details of the debt with you?’ He nodded agreement and took some papers and a receipt book from his inside coat pocket. He placed a sheet of paper in front of me. Underneath the heading DALLAS AUTOS, and dated February of the previous year it read:

  M.McBain Esq.,

  ‘The Chimneys’

  14 Hillside Close, Richmond,

  Surrey

  To: Repairing bodywork, spraying in and making good Bentley Turbo Reg. No. A938 JPB £1100.50

  ‘Hefty,’ I said.

  ‘My firm specializes in high-class work on high-class cars,’ Dallas protested. ‘It was a nasty little dent and we had to order special paint. Do you know how much those motors cost?’

  I left the question unanswered. ‘How come you let the car out without payment?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s a long story,’ replied Dallas, clearly embarrassed. ‘Simply, I don’t deal with every car that comes into the shop. I try, but it’s impossible. This particular customer was looked after by my chief mechanic. He was told that there was an account in the name of McBain at that address. And there is. The account used to be settled by a firm of city accountants, very prompt they were too. At the time the car was brought in, the account was clear and in fact hadn’t been used for some time. Unfortunately my secretary authorized its revival without reference to me. The bill was passed to the accountancy firm in due course, who informed us that they no longer acted for McBain. I’ve sent copies of the bill to the address with no luck, and there’s no trace of a telephone number listed.’

  ‘Have you visited the house?’ I enquired.

  ‘Yes, and it’s locked up tight as a drum. It’s a huge place and without climbing over a twenty-foot wall there was no way of getting in.’

  ‘Voters’ register?’ I queried. Dallas looked blank so I left it. ‘Who signed this?’ I asked, picking up the copy of the bill and feeling the greasy carbonized paper on my fingertips.

  ‘Ah,’ Dallas said even more shamefacedly. ‘It wasn’t McBain who brought the car in, or collected it. It was someone else. He said he worked for McBain. He had a letter of authority.’

  ‘Not very clever of your people, was it?’ I asked, allowing a slight rebuke to enter my voice.

  ‘No,’ he agreed. ‘But as I said, I can’t be everywhere at once.’

  ‘Who is this McBain anyway?’ I went on. ‘You must know him if he had an account with you.’

  ‘Oh yes,’ replied Dallas quickly. ‘He’s in show-business, a singer. Used to be very big years ago. He was in a group. But nobody’s heard of him for ages. At one time we used to do lots of work for him. Flash cars. You know pop stars.’

  I refrained from making any comment about the Caddy parked outside. ‘What else have you got with you?’ I asked.

  He poked at the papers he’d put on the desk. ‘A receipt book filled out for the full amount, carbonized for your signature and a letter threatening legal proceedings if he doesn’t pay up. At least you can get that to him even if he’s broke. Mind you he’s ignored all the others.’

  ‘I doubt if he is broke,’ I said. ‘Not with a car like that.’

  ‘That’s nothing,’ said Dallas craftily. ‘The biggest dealer in used Bentleys and Rollers is the official receiver. McBain may have gone skint by now.’

  It was an interesting observation and I filed it away for fu
ture reference. ‘I believe you’re offering twenty-five per cent recovery fee on this,’ I said, tapping the bill.

  ‘Twenty per cent,’ said Dallas quickly. ‘And preferably cash.’

  I looked closely at old J.R. as he sat sweating in his camel coat. I noticed the shadows under his eyes for the first time. ‘Are you short of cash?’ I asked, not that it was any of my business, at least not until I billed Dallas myself, if I collected anything.

  ‘Not at all, Nick,’ he said, beaming a fake smile. ‘Just liquidating a few assets and dragging in some old debts. Get this one and there may well be more work for you in the future.’

  Sure, I thought, you’re going skint yourself, my fat friend. ‘I may only be able to get a cheque.’ I said. ‘If anything. I can’t even guarantee finding this bloke after a year. In fact, I’ll be honest, Ted. I’m not keen on the job at all.’ He began to protest but I continued: ‘If it hadn’t been Charlie who asked, I’d probably turn it down flat. But as he did I’ll have a go. Can I .contact you here?’ I pointed at the number on the letterhead of the bill Dallas had given me. He nodded. ‘All right, I’ll snoop around and see what I can come up with.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ said Dallas. ‘Try your best, now how about a spot of lunch? I’m famished.’

  I looked at him and guessed he could live for a month on his excess weight. ‘No thanks,’ I said.

  ‘A drink?’

  ‘Why not?’ I replied. I’ll drink with anyone.

  Dallas pulled a bottle from his coat pocket: Glenlivet, finest malt. Here we go, I thought. ‘Take off your coat,’ I invited him. ‘And I’ll get some glasses.’

  I went out into the tiny kitchen at the back of my office. It was freezing in there. I found two clean glasses and returned to find Dallas hanging his overcoat next to my Crombie. I placed the glasses on the desktop. In the heat of the room they misted over immediately. Dallas unstoppered the bottle and poured two generous drinks. We raised our glasses. He toasted me with a big, greasy smile. ‘To crime,’ he said. I didn’t toast him back, just took a long swallow and felt the whisky run smoothly down my throat. If I’d known what was soon to happen I’d have choked.

  Dallas left about an hour later, after we’d killed more than half the bottle. I watched him drive the Cadillac that was about the size of a small boat out of the street, in the rain that was coming down heavily again, and lose himself on the main road.

  I sat down and tasted the liquor in my mouth. Cat and I regarded each other silently. I decided to leave my debt-collecting chore until the next day. The thought of paddling through Richmond right then left me cold.

  I put the papers and the receipt book into my desk and rescued my book. I spent the rest of the afternoon alternately in Florida and dreaming about the butcher’s daughter. Nobody rang, wrote or called. It was to be one of the last peaceful afternoons I would have for a while.

  2

  I spent the evening dallying with Edith House, or Eddie as she called herself. She was a great girl, but rather too intense for me right then. She was just one of those women you knock around with when there’s nothing better available. I know it’s a horrible thing to say, but she was a bit like an off-peak train ticket. I lay with her in my arms after we’d made love and watched a video on my new super stereo TV. I smoked a rare cigarette I’d pinched out of her handbag and drank some coffee. She’d nearly worn me out. She was the kind of woman who wanted to do everything at least twice. She fell asleep next to me and began to snore gently. I turned up the volume on the set using the remote control. It seemed to me that Edith had turned me up using the same sort of thing.

  I gazed at Michael Caine chasing women across the screen and thought about my ex-girl-friend, Teresa. It was nearly two months since I’d seen her. I thought back to our last meeting. I’d met Teresa at six in the evening down in the Battersea boonies. I drove the Jaguar through the pouring rain across South London. She was sheltering in a shop doorway and waved when she saw the car. She dodged through the puddles and I pushed open the passenger door as she got close. She fell into the suicide seat and I leaned over and kissed her. Her response was somewhat cooler than I’d expected. I examined her face by the light from the headlamps of the passing cars. The drops on the windscreen dappled the dark skin of her face. For a moment I saw her as she would be as an old woman. I blinked and she was my Teresa again. Rain had caught in her fall of thick, black hair and made it shine as if it were full of diamonds. She gathered her coat around herself and shivered.

  ‘Nick, I want to talk,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Have you got problems?’ I asked.

  ‘No,’ she replied, and smiled a sad little smile. I knew she was going to give me bad news. I could feel it in the air. It hung between us, unspoken, but solid in the atmosphere.

  ‘What then?’ I probed.

  ‘I’m leaving,’ she said, not looking at me.

  ‘Leaving what?’ I asked, mystified.

  ‘Here, London.’

  ‘Where are you going, why?’

  ‘I’m going to live with my sister in Bristol, St. Paul’s. She needs help with her business – you remember, the restaurant she runs with her husband.’

  ‘Yes, I remember,’ I said. ‘But why?’ I asked again. The inside of the Jaguar felt cold even though the heater was running.

  ‘Nick, I’m a whore in London. Right now I’m a young whore, but none of us is getting any younger. Soon I’ll be a middle-aged whore, then an old whore. I don’t want that, and if I stay in this town, it’ll happen, sure as God made little green apples.’

  I felt that she’d read my mind. ‘It doesn’t have to be that way,’ I protested. ‘I’ll –’ I didn’t finish.

  ‘What, Nick?’ she demanded. ‘What will you do?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I replied lamely.

  ‘Don’t make any promises you can’t keep,’ she said.

  ‘But why are you leaving me?’ I asked. I tried to keep the whine out of my voice, but I don’t think I succeeded.

  ‘I’m not leaving you. We were never together. When we started again last summer you had some problems. I helped you solve them. But I’m a prostitute. I sell my body every day. I can’t build a future with someone who knows that. The foundations would be too weak. I can see it in your eyes sometimes. The accusing look when you daren’t ask where I’ve been in case I tell the truth.’

  She reached over and held my hand that gripped the leather steering-wheel. ‘In Bristol nobody knows what I do up here, except my sister. She’s told no one, not even her husband. He thinks I work behind the bar in a club. Sally’s begged me to give up the life. Now I’m ready. Perhaps I’ll meet a man down there who’ll take me on face value. I want to have children someday. Black children, not half-castes. Besides I’m scared. All this AIDS shit. It’s not just scare talk. I know girls who are HIV positive. They’re walking time bombs, and it’s not for me. I’ve got a little money and I’m going.’

  I felt desolate and petulant. ‘There’s whores in Bristol too, you know,’ I said. ‘Who says you won’t go back on the game down there?’

  ‘Once a whore, always a whore, eh Nick? Is that it? You see what I mean. I knew you felt anger under all that bullshit liberated talk.’

  All of a sudden I felt like the little shit I was. Teresa had been a good friend for years, and now she wanted something better for the future, I was acting like a spoilt child. I could see the tears streaking her face. ‘Tess.’ I said softly. ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me. I just wanted to hurt you.’

  ‘You succeeded.’ She sniffled. I leant over and held her and smelt her perfume.

  ‘I hope you find happiness,’ I said. ‘I really do. When are you going?’

  ‘On New Year’s Eve.’

  ‘Soon come,’ I said.

  ‘There’s a little time,’ she said.

  ‘So tonight we celebrate a new start for you,’ I said. ‘Food and wine. Will you stay with me?’ I asked almost shyly.

  ‘That’
s my Nick,’ she said. ‘The little boy lost who expects all women to mother him. If only you were, perhaps we could have made it together. But you’re not a little boy lost, are you? There’s a streak of coldness that runs through you like a steel bolt.’ I must have looked surprised at that new tack. ‘It’s true,’ she went on. ‘And it’s not something I like to explore very often. It’s a loveless place where your dreams have withered and died. I try to ignore it as much as possible, but it intrudes into our relationship sometimes and distances you from softness and kindness. Look at that business last summer. How many men could have done what you did?’

  I couldn’t answer. I knew she was right.

  ‘I think the only person you really care about is yourself,’ she continued.

  ‘Oh, Tess,’ I said with a deep sigh. ‘Don’t you think I know it?’

  ‘Nick,’ she said. ‘Now it’s my turn to be sorry. It’s our last night together and we’re both screwing up. Can we start again?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said.

  ‘Friends?’ she asked.

  ‘Forever,’ I replied.

  We ate at the Malean, our favourite Chinese restaurant opposite Norbury Police Station. It was a subdued meal but we managed to work our way through sweetcorn and crabmeat soup, prawns in chilli sauce, shredded duck, stir-fried vegetables and noodles fried with bean sprouts. Plus two bottles of Wan Fu Chinese wine and a couple of Irish coffees each. After the meal and a chat with the ladies who run the place I drove us back to Tulse Hill, splashing through the windswept streets to home.

  We made love in a desultory way. Not particularly passionately or particularly tenderly. I think we both faked orgasms. I know I did.

  When I woke up next morning at eight Teresa was already dressed. I peered at her from under the duvet. ‘Bit of a rush isn’t it?’ I asked.

  ‘I think I’d better go, I’ve got lots to do.’